


Sam wants

by lostinmymindforever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Wincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 03:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmymindforever/pseuds/lostinmymindforever





	Sam wants

Sam doesn’t know when he started feeling the way he does. He can’t put a date to when his feelings for Dean changed from brotherly to more. He doesn’t remember when Dean became an obsession for him. He does know when it became too much though. He remembers it quite clearly. 

He had been almost 17, and they had been on a hunt, but there was nothing unusual about that, they had always been on a hunt while he was growing up. But he remembers watching Dean getting thrown against a wall, seeing him hurt and broken, and feeling like his heart was breaking. He remembers praying silently that Dean would be alright. He remembers how much it hurt when he tried to help Dean and the older Winchester pushed him away. It wasn’t long after that that Sam started looking into colleges. He couldn’t deal with being around Dean and not being able to be with him.

Sam remembers the night he left for school, remembers how he wanted so badly to tell Dean how he felt, wanted to beg Dean to come with him. But he didn’t, he was trying for normal, and telling your older brother that he is the love of your life just wasn’t normal. He tried to be the normal one in school, tried getting over Dean with studying and dating, but Dean never left his thoughts. 

Looking back he can see that his relationship with Jess was doomed to fail, even if she hadn’t been killed. She was so much like Dean that it was scary. Sam knew he couldn’t have been with her forever, not really. She was just the replacement for what he really wanted. 

Sam tries so hard not to let Dean know how he feels, not to get angry or possessive when Dean hooks up. It isn’t his right, Dean isn’t his no matter how much he wants him to be. But sometimes, sometimes he just can’t deal with it. Deal with watching Dean give his attention to anyone but him. 

Sometimes it’s just so hard for Sam to sleep in the same room with Dean and not give in to temptation and crawl in bed with him. He wants more than anything to spend the night in Dean’s arms, trading kisses and touches. He wants to feel Dean in him, marking him as his, claiming him, wants to hear Dean tell him that he’s the only one he wants, the only one he needs. 

Sam wants to kiss Dean breathless, wants to be the one he turns to when things go bad. He wants to touch Dean however he wants, not having to censor his actions. He wants to hear Dean moan his name, hear him whisper words of love and devotion in his ear, telling Sam that he is wanted, telling Sam that he is the only one for him, that he has always needed Sam as badly as Sam needs him.

Sam knows he’ll never get that though. He knows that Dean will never be his, so he’ll take what he can get. He’ll take just being Dean’s brother, being the one to patch him up, being the one who knows his secrets. But if Sam had one wish, and one wish only, it would be to have Dean love him the same way that he loves Dean.


End file.
